This print pretty much captures how I've been feeling the last few days. I have made some attempts to sit down at the computer and put together a blog post or an e-mail or even a facebook status and nothing comes out.
Write. Easier said than done for me lately.
I think that Jason and I have defined my lurking funk as an early-life crisis. You know, a mid-life crisis for younger people. Does this make me crazy? Maybe. But I'll just throw it out there anyway.
Maybe it's because my 26 and half birthday is coming up (you celebrate half birthdays, right?). And I am looking back on all that I have or have not done thus far. For starters, I told myself I would only stay in Tennessee while I was in college and here I am. In Tennessee; four years after college. When I was in high school, I had dreams of living in a big city for at least a period of my life. Then I ended up in Tennessee for college and here I have stayed. Now that Jason is in school here and has signed a contract with a local agency, we are looking at another four-ish years here. Still in Tennessee.
My career is also a contributor to my funk status often. I always thought that if I went to college and got my degree, it would give me the freedom to do something I loved. But sometimes I feel like I was fooled into believing my career would be something that it is just simply not. Sure I could go back to school and pay thousands and thousands of dollars in hopes to find something that fits, but I have a better idea. How about somebody just give me a chance to do something new, even if I am not "qualified." Just because I didn't go to school for something, doesn't mean I can't be a rockstar at it.
That all being said, I have to make it known that I am incredibly blessed beyond belief. I have an amazing husband that is more that I could have dreamed of. I have family and friends that love and care about me. Jason and I are blessed with a beautiful home and wonderful pet children. I have a job and Jason is in school to learn about and start a career that he loves. I have so much to be thankful for. All of this should and does outweigh the rest. I don't want to set myself up for disappointment and regret. If anything, I hope this helps me realize how precious each day is and that I always need to live life to the fullest; no matter where I am or what I am doing. Sometimes I just need a reminder, don't you?