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that time i got all personal and stuff


Trying.

It’s one of those topics that most couples don’t really discuss or announce.  Once you make that decision to take the leap, it sort of remains a secret between you two until you have something real to tell.  That was our thinking, anyway.  And then month after month would go by.  So here we are, a year later and with nothing to tell. 

We have always known that we would like to have a big family.  When we reached the point of being “ready,” we were excited, anxious and scared all at once.  So we began trying to have a baby with high hopes.  We had a little bet going – Jason thought I would be pregnant within three months and I thought it would take longer.  Usually I am always happy to be right, but not so much in this situation. 

I have read that infertility is defined as the failure to conceive after one year of trying.  Two of the scariest words wrapped up in one definition.  Infertility and failure.  Sheesh…way to cut straight to the heart.  I have to say also that I don't totally agree with that definition.  I have not been to see my doctor yet, so our situation has not been officially labeled anything.  We feel it’s too soon to jump to any conclusions.  I try not to worry or think about it too often, but those of you who have been in my place know that is almost an impossible task.

We pray everyday for God’s blessings and still have strong faith that we have great things to come.  We know He has wonderful plans for our future.  Sometimes the waiting is just so hard though, but we will do our best to be patient and remain faithful.  We are still so excited for what the future holds.

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5 comments:

H. said...

Hey, thanks for being so real! I haven't been on birth control for almost 2 years now and not even a pregnancy scare. It's really scary that it might mean fertility and I know there's awesome opportunities such as fostering and adoption but I know too from friends that have been pregnant that there is just something incredibly special about carrying your own child...thank you for sharing.

H. said...

**Infertility {Sorry for the confusion!}

Amanda Wissmann said...

Can I just encourage you...This is actually something I have felt the need to blog about for a while, but I need the time to sit and really put it down the way I want it.

I, too, always knew we would have a family. I felt it was a promise God had given me from a young age. I always wanted to be a mommy and to know the blessing of being pregnant and carrying my child inside of me.

After being married 3 years, I got off birth control in Aug 2008. We used NO form of protection after that point and nothing happened.

I had always felt that God never wanted us to "try" the way most people do. I don't believe he created our bodies for the stress of "trying". (counting days, taking temps, eating the "right" foods for fertility, etc..) I've had too many friends take this road, and end up depressed after months and years of trying, because everyone told them that's how it was supposed to be and it would happen for sure.

God made each of us so very different AND he has a beautiful and perfect plan for each couple.

I started to wonder if something was wrong with one of us. I had never had any tests done to prove that...because I felt God was always saying, "Just wait...my timing is perfect." but I'm not going to lie...it WAS NOT EASY. After 6 years of marriage and 4 years of unprotected sex, it was too easy to wonder what was wrong with me.

I can't count the number of times people encouraged us to go have a check up, to make sure everything was ok. Don't get me wrong...I know infertility is very very real. Both of my sisters struggled with infertility and other pregnancy issues, including miscarriages and such. Satan tried to use these things against me...tried to tell me lies that it was impossible...that something was wrong, and we should take matters into our own hands. He would tell me, "There's nothing wrong with just checking" "Maybe you should look into adoption"...

But God was always there saying, "Just wait. I have a plan. A very perfect plan."

So that's what we did. Through the fears, the tears and the anxious times when it seemed impossible to wait any longer...we waited.

And after almost 7 years, we are finally pregnant with that little miracle we were promised! I am so in awe to have the blessing of knowing what pregnancy feels like. It is like God is blessing us for our faithfulness to wait.

You WILL get through this! Seek him, cry out. He knows EVERY desire of your heart and he will follow through with his promise for you.

If you EVER need to talk..I know it's difficult to talk to a stranger, but I really know what you're going through and I would be more than happy to talk, let you vent, encourage you...or whatever you need!

My email is amandalaura626@gmail.com

Keep the faith! God is so faithful :)

Blessings and I cannot wait to hear more about your journey!

P.S. Anyone reading this...Please, please understand I do not see anything wrong with other forms of pregnancy or parenthood if you're seeking the Lord and that is the way he is leading you to have a family, I think that is awesome! I have so much respect for those who adopt and my twin niece and nephew are from an in vitro pregnancy. We just know God called us to wait!

Michelle said...

I completely agree with you! That definition of infertility is bogus. I love what the previous commenter said. I also believe that God didn't design us take a million test and stress over getting pregnant. It's all in His timing. But I can totally understand your discouragement. It's just natural. So glad you posted this though. Even though my husband and I haven't started trying for a baby yet, this is a very real fear of mine and something I'm trying daily to put in God's hands. You're in my prayers!

Carlee said...

So sorry to hear about your struggles! My husband and I are just starting that journey, and he was shocked that it didn't work right away.

You guys are in my prayers! It'll all work out according to God's timing.

Romans 8:28 :)

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